


Hurts like hell

by hatzy



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, M/M, this was supposed to be longer but it ended up being shorter but it still will hurt :D
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 04:38:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8876221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hatzy/pseuds/hatzy
Summary: Vax hated Thunder. So does Percy now for a different reason.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i havent been around i have no excuse other than im lazy

Percy loved the way Vax’s hair fell when wore it down, how it flows when he turns. He can not look away from the cascading dark wave that frames his pale skin, he reached over pushing some strands from Vax’s face. “I missed you.” Percy whispered cradling his head softly in his fingertips, his hair feeling silky and soothing to the touch. 

“I’m sorry I was gone for so long but I'm back and good luck getting rid of me.” Vax smiled leaning into Percy's hand in a small catlike manner. 

“I don't plan on losing you again.” Percy uttered pulling him into a tight hug. There was something about having Vax in his arms, it warmed him to the core. It was almost like he found this part of him that was missing, like vax was a key who found his lock and he always fell open around him. Like his journal exposing all of his secrets and fantasies. 

Percy felt a ache in his chest, The sharp pain familiar in his life, it almost pulled him from the moment. “I can not lose you again Vax, because I loved and I loved Vax, Then I lost you.” Percy echoed into his hair. “And that hurts like hell.” He noted as an afterthought. 

Vax whimpered in his arms. “Don't tell me this Percy.” Percy felt his weight against him, the steady heartbeat in his arms, with the warm sweet earthy scent of Vax. It felt like home. He felt like home. Percy basked in the moment like a cat laying in a patch of sunlight. Happy, warmth of sitting in front of a fire with the heat waving over you happy, happy.

“I'm sorry Darling.” Percy kissed his hair softly sighing into Vax’s hair. He could not really find the words he wanted to say and how he would express them, even with his vast vocabulary he didn't know how to say it. It was too much to his soul to take to tell him how he felt, that if he started talking he would not ever stop talking it would burst from him like a damn what wouldn't stop running.

 

The low rumble of thunder pulled him away from the moment as Vax flinched in his arms Percy held him tighter. “Shh you are fine we are fine.” Percy rocked him softly.

The second louder crack of thunder pulled him from the dream causing him to sit up to assess the situation. It was only drizzling when he went to bed this was now a full storm. 

_ Shit Vax _ . was a thought running through Percy's head. “Hey Vax are you- Oh.” Percy's gaze whipped over in the middle of the sentence to see the empty grove where Vax slept. He wasn't here. He has not been here for years. Percy felt the pain start again, his heart shattering. The pain grew as Percy layed back down into his bed. The next low of thunder made him flinch at the memory of Vax. 

He was too awake now to fall back asleep. Percy wished he could forget him, well part of him would. Just so the pain would stop, he just wanted this emptiness to stop. The hollow feeling of knowing what you could have and losing it. He lost the hope to smile, to even act human often casting a hex on himself to mask his own pain. He won't do that tonight. 

Tonight he's going to wallow, as he pulls Vaxs old pillow to his face and takes a small breath of it. It still smelt faintly like him. The tears welled in Percy's sparkling blue eyes. He lost him, and he did not know how to cope with this loss.

His face rubbed into pillow breaking out from behind these walls he builds up everyday so he can rule over whitestone. Most people know not to bother Percy, To keep a wide berth from him now, that they shouldn't say Vaxs name. Rolling onto his side he sobbed in time to a rumble of thunder. Oh Pelor he hated thunder now days. It was the worst kind of weather. 

“I love and I love and I lost you. Pelor be damned. It hurts like hell.” Percy choked out putting it into words it was too much for one poor soul to take.... 

Percy was not lying it hurt like hell. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments make me giddy. so if you want to make the end of this shit show of a year better for me comment or kudos?
> 
> I wrote some of this to Fleurie Hurts Like Hell so you can listen to that if you wanna read that.
> 
> cheers.  
> hatzy


End file.
